How to Make Good Friends With People
Steve Myers • Jan 15, 2020
A Guide to Walking the Paths of Chumliness
We all need friendship in our lives. But meeting new people can be hard and scary.
The Adventures of Superchum comic strip espouses the idea of the Paths of Chumliness, a set of steps and guidelines that the heroes follow in their quest to befriend the entire world.
The paths they follow help the heroes expand their social circle to a massive group of friends, harness the kind of friends that are paragons of true friendship. Spending time with these kinds of friends often leads to good times and positive mental health.
So how does one go about making great friends like this? Whether you're making friends as an adult, or are younger ... whether you're making friends on social media or IRL ... the Paths of Chumliness are your guide. So follow these steps with each new potential friend and see if you can beat Superchum at his own game!
Three Necessary Ingredients to Chumliness
According to The Paths of Chumliness strong and powerful friendships are developed when three specific things occur:
- Satisfaction.
We feel satisfied in a relationship like friendship when the interactions have more positivity than negativity.
- Safety.
We feel safe in a relationship like a friendship when we commit to consistent time with each other.
- Visibility.
We feel seen in a freiendship when we practice revealing ourselves and expressing vulnerability.
These things seem simple but they are difficult to do. That's why The Mighty Befrienders have developed this recipe for making friends! Here’s the Befrienders formula for creating meaningful connections:
Positivity + Consistency + Vulnerability = Chumliness!
Two Steps to Chumliness
It typically takes people between 6 to 8 interactions with a new person before they really start feeling like friends. The sooner new friends they schedule interactions, the sooner that friendship blossoms. So Superchum advises all new Befrienders walking the Paths of Chumliness to adhere to these two steps:
- Be open to making new friends.
- Make the first move
Repeat these steps as needed!
The Five to One Ratio For Super Friendships
This is the secret ingredient to powerful friendship through the Paths of Chumliness! It's just a simple ratio. To keep a friendship going, the relationship needs to have a lopsided positivity-to-negativity ratio. Through years of superheroing and chumliness, the Befrienders have found that the ratio of positivity to negativity needs to be at least five-to-one.
That means sharing five times more fun and feel-good moments than stress and toxic moments - that can range from disappointments and frustrations to jealousies.
By definition, to be a good friend and also to keep a good friend requires that both parties bring this lopsided ratio of positivity to the relationship.
Superchumand The Mighty Befriendershave put together this handy dandy Info-graphic for you to keep and follow along in your quest to walk the Paths of Chumliness!
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